by Sanford Meschkow
Image courtesy of NASA public domain
“Why are you
looking so unhappy? I warned you not to choose that meal pack,” said Spencer
Karlinsky.
Alistair
Fox scowled at his corned beef and cabbage dinner. “It’s not just the food. You
know what the real trouble with this mission is? The most interesting women on
the ship won’t talk to me.” They were both afloat in Officer’s Kitchen A, just
aft of the control room of the Ultima Thule and Karlinsky was scheduled to relieve Colonel Hayakawa in
the crew lounge in less than ten minutes.
Karlinsky
swallowed a mouthful of rubbery lasagna and smiled. “The women in the Symborski
Drive Section, right? Don’t you mean that they avoid talking shop with you?
Won’t discuss equipment failure modes? Well, it’s not just you, you know.
Haven’t you figured out yet that they’re not just being snobbish? It’s
security-related. Just pick a safe
subject.” As ship’s blogmaster, one of Karlinsky’s tasks was to censor
anything about the Symborski drive that might slip past the blog censorship
software.
Karlinsky
took another bite. The lasagna dinner pack was worse than the corned beef, but
food was just fuel to him and he could digest almost anything. Besides, he had
to hurry.
“But what
could they tell me about the Symborski drive that I could do anything with,
Spence? Do they expect me to build a relativity-denying FTL starship in my
basement?”
“It makes
sense to me. Fifty years ago there were angry guys in Middle Eastern caves who would have loved to know as much
about small nuclear bomb design and maintenance as you do. And can you please
eat faster?”
Fox poked at
a chunk of discolored boiled potato; the fork wouldn’t penetrate. He jabbed his
fork into his leathery corned beef in disgust. He was just more finicky than
Karlinsky.
“I only ate
the dessert; you can finish the rest. Spence, you’re the morale officer. Can’t
you do something about the food
situation?”
Some people
always complain. But when a well-motivated type like Fox starts to gripe,
Karlinsky took it as a sign that a dull mission had dragged on too long. He
shook his head.
“Can’t. There
aren’t enough extra meal packs to just throw away perfectly nutritious but badly-cooked
meals we don’t like without digging into the emergency rations. The food
service contract was awarded to a Bangalore-based company. Their Indian and
Asian meal packs are great, but I’ve gotten twenty complaints about the corned
beef and lasagna meal packs. Come on, I
have to go.” Karlinsky fed both
unfinished meal packs into the FINISH LATER slot of the meal dispenser. They
would be returned to him for his next meal. He pushed off the wall and sailed
towards the conveyor hatch.
“You know,
Alistair, you’ve given me an idea. Maybe I could set up a food exchange system
so crewmembers could trade their ration pack items easily. You know, a steak
and fries dinner pack for three or four lasagna dinner packs or a chocolate bar for several plastic-tasting cups of custard.”
Fox thought a
moment. “But how will the exchange system work if nobody wants the meal packs
most people want to trade away?”
“I’ll force it
to work. I’ll eat only the unwanted meals three times a day if I have to.”
“I’m dubious,
Spence. That could be as bad as the limerick contest you sponsored.”
“Hey, those
limericks weren’t that bad!”
Karlinsky and
Fox rode the conveyor belt aft to the crew lounge and pushed off to the far wall. They planted themselves on
stickyspots where Karlinsky had the best view of the video display. They weren’t alone. Six women from the
Symborski Drive Section were clustered around the display and pointing at views
of Target Star Cerise and the cratered surface of its second planet.
With a crew of
75 it was possible for blogmaster Karlinsky to know a lot about everybody. The brunette nearest the display, Second
Lieutenant Cecelia Piretti, was the prettiest of the group, Karlinsky decided.
Nice cheekbones. She had blogged about restaurants in Milan, rock climbing in
the Dolomites with her brothers, and wreck diving off the Greek islands with a
women’s diving club. Karlinsky was leery of rock climbing and he thought that
only a lunatic would go poking around in sunken ships.
Colonel
Judith Hayakawa, the command pilot/mission captain, was affixed to a stickyspot next to the conveyor hatch, her
head and face hidden by a command-level VR helmet. The Ultima Thule had a
control room, of course, but Hayakawa used it only for high-thrust and gravity-assist maneuvers. ASTRID, the ship’s
AI, made it possible for a crewmember to stand watch using only a VR helmet.
Karlinsky
checked the time. He still had a few minutes until he had to relieve Hayakawa.
“Well, here’s
that new planet you were so eager to see,” said Fox, gesturing at the display.
“Just as weird and worthless as all the others. Please wake me up when we get
to a planet with good surfing and palm
trees.”
Karlinsky
grinned at Fox. He had used every scheme he could think of to win the
unprestigious and thankless slot as morale officer just for the privilege of
seeing new worlds.
“Working on
a standup routine, shipmate? Good, I have plenty of room for you in the next
talent show. Just remember that Canadian political gags aren’t funny in other
nations.”
Fox looked
surprised. “Squeezing yet another talent show onto the calendar? Aren’t you
taking your morale officer slot too seriously?”
“Morale
officer, ship’s blogmaster, Star Bond drive coordinator: I take them all
seriously. I’m pushing for the highest task accomplishment rating of any junior
officer in the Interstellar Reconnaissance Corps.”
First
Lieutenant Fox, newly-promoted to junior pulse drive maintenance officer,
just chuckled. “Well, good luck. But
haven’t you noticed that all you second lieutenants get the dog jobs? It’s hard to get the Gagarin Medal for
just taking out the garbage every day. It’s a day-and-night scramble just to
get noticed.”
Since his
promotion, Fox had become a self-anointed authority on the subject. To sidestep
yet another lecture, Karlinsky pointed at the display.
“Look, a
volcanic hot spot in the southern hemisphere. The Observation Section expected
plate tectonics on a planet
bigger than Mars. Maybe a biological
oasis?”
“Don’t get
too excited, Spence. we’re looking at the night side of a planet with an atmosphere that’s rich in
methane and near a red dwarf that’s
putting out most of its radiation in the
infrared. And still Baffin Island in January is a paradise compared to it. Lots
of hydrocarbon aerosols and craters, too.”
“Looks sort
of like Ganymede, doesn’t it?”
“Who cares?”
Fox made a sour face. “We got all the dog target stars this mission, Spence.
The Terra Incognita gets to survey the Alpha Centauri system and Epsilon Indi.
The Cathay gets to survey Tau Ceti and Epsilon Eridani. The remaining two starships and us get mostly
blipping red and brown dwarves and lots
of deep-frozen planets and we didn’t draw either Sirius or Procyon. The
landscape must be getting pretty dull for you SETI believers and tourist types.
Not a furry octopus or a feathered spider in sight.”
Karlinsky
shrugged. “Sooner or later, shipmate, sooner or later. It’s in the cards. These
first five missions are just shakedown cruises, anyway. We just have to get out
where we can survey more G-class star systems instead of all these puny M-class
stars in our back yard. There’s a lot of
good prospects all around us.”
“Karlinsky,
where is Lieutenant Samsonov? ASTRID informs me you will be sitting in for
him.” It was Colonel Hayakawa speaking from across the room and she didn’t
sound happy. She had taken off her VR
helmet and looked tired.
“Ma’am,
Samsonov is in an extended-shift command training simulation. Normally, Captain
Bronstein would sit in and take his shift, but she’s running several training sessions
this shift and since I’m the morale officer and have the required cross
training–”
Fox tactfully
pushed off to a stickyspot closer to the display.
Colonel
Hayakawa was quiet for a long moment. Karlinsky took that moment to push off
from his stickyspot to sail across the lounge to a stickyspot closer to
Hayakawa.
“Yes, I see
your point. You have the basic cross training, but your hours under the helmet
are lower than they should be and Captain Bronstein should have been nagging
you about that. But what you really should be doing is logging more command
simulation time like Samsonov is doing. You’ve been a second lieutenant for
some time now and I seem to remember having an earlier conversation with you
about getting ready for your command advancement exams. Isn’t that correct?” No, she was not happy at all, which was rare
for her.
“Yes, ma’am.
I’ve been really busy getting the morale activities scheduled up and running. I
planned on devoting time to command training on the inbound leg after the flyby
of Struve 2398, uh, Target Star Crimson. Morale will be pretty high then.”
Colonel
Hayakawa glared at him. “You must learn to prioritize, Karlinsky. That I’m
taking the time to discuss this with you when I need to get some sleep should
suggest something to you. I want to see a training schedule from you in 24
hours. Understood?” She handed Karlinsky the VR helmet. “I’ve instructed ASTRID
to revert command to me if you run into anything complex. Have a good watch.
One minute to hand-off.” Then she pushed off the wall and dove through the
conveyor hatch and aftward. The VR helmet in Karlinsky’s hands began to chant
“Hand-off in sixty seconds, hand-off in fifty-nine seconds–.”
Fox shot back
across the room to an adjacent stickyspot. “Say, that didn’t sound good. What’s
the problem?”
“Oh, she’s
pushing me to make time for some CAE training instead of concentrating on task
assignments. I know that old trick. Keep ‘em busy and sleepy and they won’t
make trouble. You know during WWII they used to send guys out on the decks of
battleships with hammers and chisels to chip off rust spots? Ever tour a WWII
battleship? It would probably take a century for one to get really rusty. Sheer
make-work! The idea was to keep everyone so busy and sleepy they had no time to
cry into their pillows over their girl back home. I’ve checked the personnel regs. Do you know how much more task accomplishment
is weighted in promotional evaluation raw scores over CAE training?”
Fox looked
irritated. “You must be out of your mind. You might have been able to game the
system and boost your class standing at the academy, but that won’t work here.
When your commanding officer suggests something, you do it. Ignoring hints from
her could get you a bad P-104 write-up. You’ll get posted to a support
facility. Do you want to be the morale officer at Armstrong Base until you
retire? We have to talk about this more after your shift,” said Fox, reaching
for his handheld on his belt. “Screen, activate,” he said. “I‘ve some maintenance manuals I
have to read through and revise; might as well do it here.” He threw a glance
over his shoulder at the display. Views of the planet were alternating with
prominences leaping off of the cool surface of Target Star Cerise.
“I can’t
stop you, but I really have this all figured. Really,” Karlinsky said. “Say, since
when did you start revising nuclear pulse propulsion maintenance manuals?”
“Oh, Farrell
passed the job over to me when I got my promotion.”
“Uh-huh!”
Karlinsky grinned as he slipped the VR helmet on. Just as he had suspected.
Fox’s promotion had rewarded him with less time maintaining the elegant innards
of the nuclear bomblets that propelled the ship (which he richly enjoyed) and
more time spent on engineering paperwork. A typical negative promotion.
“Karlinsky
relieving Colonel Hayakawa, ASTRID.”
“Welcome to
your shift, Second Lieutenant Karlinsky,” said ASTRID in a women’s voice with a
touch of a Scandinavian accent. The helmet display showed the planned flyby of
Target Star Cerise. “All systems operating within acceptable parameters. Launching
of sunskimmer probes 13 and 14 is scheduled for two hours, nineteen minutes, eleven-point-eight
seconds. Closest approach to planet Cerise b is in one hour, thirty-seven minutes,
seventeen-point-eight seconds. Level One diagnostic of the Orion nuclear pulse
drive is scheduled for thirty minutes, twenty-point-eight seconds. Do you wish
a review display of all critical systems?” The helmet displayed a virtual
control board covered with icons.
“Yes,
ASTRID.”
And the icon
for the atmosphere regeneration system swelled to fill the display.
Time crawled
by. Karlinsky signed off on a few minor
setting changes that ASTRID suggested. The Symborski FTL drive, of course, was
in shutdown mode while the ship passed through a star system. He viewed a
status summation of the nuclear pulse drive and looked over the shoulders of
the Observation Section as they prepared to launch the sunskimmer probes. He
also studied several distant views of hot and airless Cerise a, the innermost
planet, and the dawn side of Cerise b as the ship crossed the planet’s orbit.
“Note the ice
crystal cloud bands visible high in the planet’s atmosphere,” said CARL, the
Observation Section’s AI, speaking in a resonant male voice with a Northeastern
U.S. accent quite unlike ASTRID’s. On Cerise b, the faint star that was before the
Ultima Thule would be climbing higher and higher in the eastern sky.
“This is a
SETI encounter alert! Repeat, a SETI encounter alert!” said CARL suddenly. “I’m
intercepting analog signals from a source coming into view on the planetary
surface…Source is under the western end of an ice crystal cloud band… Source
overlays with intense infrared source on surface… Source overlays with radar
and optical location of cone-shaped structures suggesting volcanic features…
Displaying anomalous structures…”
Karlinsky
gasped at the enlarged radar image. Those terraces like hot springs and those structures
that looked like cinder cones could be completely natural features, yes, but
that tall and symmetrical structure spouting a white plume had to be…a cooling
tower? And weren’t those tanks rising out of the ice? No, domes! He heard loud
shouts coming from the women in the lounge and a nearby yelp of surprise that
had to be Fox.
“Second
Lieutenant Karlinsky, command of this ship is reverting to Colonel Hayakawa,”
said ASTRID politely. “Please remove this helmet and stand by for further
orders.”
“Yes.
Certainly.” Said Karlinsky. His ears seemed to be ringing and his lips felt
numb.
With the
helmet off he could see the drive section crewmembers pointing at the display
and arguing loudly with each other. Fox
was pointing at the monitor and shouting about geothermal power plants. The
display was flashing repeated views of the hot spot region in radar, IR, and
visible wavelengths.
The monitor suddenly went black. “Signal analysis suggests this is an intercepted video
transmission not aimed at us.” said CARL. “Decryption protocols are being
applied.”
The display went silent. A black smudge against a gray background
appeared. It shrunk and became more defined as the camera seemed to draw back. The shape became a seven-pointed star on the left cheek of a strange-looking
young woman.
She wore a
complicated head wrapping that looked West African and a bathrobe-like garment
with big shoulder pads. Her eyebrows were extremely bushy and her jaw oddly
prominent. Although the black-and-white image was somewhat blurry, one could
see her teeth, her tongue, her eyes blinking, and her expression changing as
she talked. She was obviously as human as any Australian Bushman or Balinese
temple dancer, although she belonged to no racial group Karlinsky had ever
seen.
“Oh, Lord,
YES!” said Karlinsky. He was entranced. She had the most feathery eyelashes!
Her left hand was holding a hexagonal placard with a big squiggle on it. She was
pointing to it with her right. Her jaw moved up and down and her lips moved. Karlinsky
knew he should be whooping and sailing around the room, but he was too stunned
to even move from his stickyspot.
How could
she look human? Had some alien race grabbed some cavemen for their zoo and were
these their descendants? Or did all intelligent life forms have to look
humanoid? No, don’t get sidetracked. Concentrate on dealing with this
situation, thought Karlinsky.
The camera cut
to a room full of young children (five years old? six?) wearing hooded
leotards. Same bushy eyebrows, same big jaws. They jumped up and down and waved
their arms. The situation was obvious. Me, teacher, me! Oh, I know! Call on ME!
The teacher
again, smiling an encouraging smile, pointed at–
“ATTENTION,
ALL SECTIONS. THIS IS COLONEL HAYAKAWA.”
Her voice came booming out of the wall speakers, everyone’s handheld,
and even the VR helmet Karlinsky was holding. She cleared her throat. There was
a long silence.
“THERE ARE
INDICATIONS OF INTELLIGENT LIFEFORMS ON CERISE B. SINCE WE DON’T KNOW THEIR
MILITARY CAPABILITIES, WE’RE GOING TO A COMBINED LOSS-OF-PRESSURE AND DAMAGE
CONTROL ALERT STATUS. SUIT UP! THERE WILL BE A MEETING IN THE LOUNGE IN 15 MINUTES
OF ALL SECTION HEADS AND SENIOR OFFICERS. LIEUTENANT KARLINSKY, MEET ME THERE
IMMEDIATELY. THAT IS ALL.”
Wall panels
began flipping open, revealing emergency suits. Panels in the floor slid back
and inflatable chairs and a conference table began inflating.
Karlinsky’s
damage control station was at Suit Station 10 aiding other officers to suit up.
He couldn’t leave the lounge, but he wasn’t going to float around doing
nothing.
“Form a line
by the suit racks. Start suiting each other up. Fox, you first!” Stuffing someone into a pressure suit in
microgravity took practice, but Karlinsky was good at it.
The two men positioned
themselves facing away from the women, who had more complicated sanitary
connections to deal with than men did. Karlinsky had Stewart zipped up in
minutes while the drive section crewmembers were still floundering around. They
just weren’t as adept in microgravity as Fox and Karlinsky were.
“Hey, Spence,
I’m heading for the bomblet deck. Remember my advice.”
The women had
started helping each other by then, but Piretti was still lagging behind. She
was sobbing bitterly as she tumbled around in mid-air. Karlinsky saw his chance
and kicked over to the suit rack. He did a forward roll and matched her tumble.
“Here, let
me help,” said Karlinsky, stretching out one of Piretti’s sleeves. Most of her suit’s zippers was still unzipped. “Why
are you crying? Your secret star drive works
and look at what we found using it. You should be happy.” They had met
several times, of course, but hadn’t really spoken. He grabbed a leg (he had
the perfect excuse) and zipped a suit leg around it.
“I am not
crying for myself. I am crying for my favorite uncle,” she said with a slight
Italian accent. “He is a professor of human prehistory. He may have to send
home all his students, burn all his books, and start over!”
“Don’t jump to
conclusions. They might only look human,” he said tactfully. “Now, zip up the
other leg, Cecelia, please? And I enjoy your blog. Those restaurants in Milan you
wrote about sounded exceptional.”
She looked
at him closely as if seeing him for the first time. “Ah, I’ve read your blog also.
You hike and climb peaks in the Adirondacks and camp where the wolves come to
beg scraps at your campfire. You must be a madman.”
“No, they’re
harmless as long as you use repellent spray and don’t feed them.” He decided
now was not the time to confess about the night he had fed a pack a whole box of
marshmallows. “Now, zip up and I’ll grab your feet and get us to a stickyspot.”
They ended up on a stickyspot that would have been on the
ceiling had the ship been under Orion drive. Cecilia’s friends applauded.
“Thank you.
You are very good in microgravity,” she said with an inviting smile. “You would
make a good wreck diver, I think. Ever want to try it?”
“We’ll have to
get together so you can tell me all about it,” said Karlinsky as cheerfully as
he could. Wreck diving? What was he allowing himself to be talked into?
Karlinsky
expected Colonel Hayakawa to appear immediately, but he had time to finish
suiting up himself after everyone else left the lounge. After his suit pressure
check, he left his helmet faceplate open. Pressure sensors would close and seal
the helmet at the tiniest pressure drop and he wanted to stretch his air
supply.
He tucked the VR helmet under his arm and
watched new footage of the teacher displaying another placard covered with
alien spaghetti-like patterns. An alphabet more intricate than Arabic? A gawky
boy with a big nose answered a question with much mouth flapping and received a
warm smile and more mouth flapping in return. What could she be saying? That’s
right, Oogo, this word ends with a fire radical, so the “utt” is silent. But
can anyone think of a word that begins
with a fire radical? Oogo? Anyone? Who
haven’t we heard from yet?
Maybe
Cecelia’s uncle's career was threatened. Karlinsky felt really uncomfortable, as
if he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He had always dreamed of meeting
intelligent aliens someday, but instead he had met…what? When the British had
surrendered to the Americans at Yorktown, the British band had played a popular
tune titled “The World Turned Upside Down.” Would that song become the new
anthem of the Interstellar Reconnaissance Corps? Were a lot of college texts heading for the
flames?
“I’m on my
way, Karlinsky,” said Colonel Hayakawa though Karlinsky’s helmet headphones.
“If you’re watching the transmissions right now, this isn’t all the footage we
have. Major Chandhari says the children are doing something like square
dancing. He also confirms the signals
are definitely coming from outside the ship, so this isn’t a hoax, in case you
were wondering,” she said as she floated into the lounge. She pointed to the
conference table. “Might as well take a seat, Karlinsky.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He pulled himself down to a seat and prepared for the worst. He must have
completely bungled his watch for a dressing down of this magnitude.
Colonel
Hayakawa leaned across the table, her eyes drilling into him. “First of all, this
discussion has to be restricted until
further notice for reasons of morale. What we’ve seen today changes our mission
profile. When we do an orbital plane change and gravity-assist maneuver during
our close approach to this target star, we won’t be aiming towards Target Star
Crimson. Instead, we will decelerate, establish an orbit around this target
star that will include a flyby of Cerise b, get more pictures and intercept
more transmissions, and then head straight back to Earth. Can you tell me why?”
Karlinsky
didn’t dare blink. His stomach churned. “Uh, ma’am, because a SETI Incident
takes priority over an astronomical survey of nearby M-class stars?”
“Correct. Our
other scheduled flyby is cancelled. I can’t account for what we’ve seen, but
it’s better to have lots of data and no theories than lots of theories and no
blippin’ data. So we’re going to get more data–or else.”
“Ma’am,
we’re close to our last planned gravity-assist maneuver and we’re almost out of
bomblets. How can we change the mission profile so much?’
“By
returning home at a much reduced velocity compared with the velocity we reached
leaving our home system. We can reduce our velocity a lot because the mass of
this target star is so much less than our own sun. And we can also use that,”
she said, pointing to his VR helmet.
“Using the
helmets means we don’t need a control room with high-thrust couches once we
complete our high-thrust maneuvers. And all the antennas, scopes, and
instrumentation on the hull optimized for stellar observation can be gotten rid
of, too. All we need is observational hardware for the planetary flyby and
communications hardware to reach our rescuers in the solar system, as we will
probably end up in some kind of a near-earth orbit. So we disassemble
everything else and it goes out the air lock and off the ship.”
Karlinsky
blinked. Could Hayakawa have pulled that plan out of her hat in the past few minutes?
No! There must be a file full of contingency plans on her handheld for a whole range
of unlikely situations such as this.
Then
Karlinsky almost jumped out of his seat. “Colonel, what about the sunskimmer probes?
They’re about to be launched!”
“Good catch,
Karlinsky. All launches are on hold, but Major Chandhari already has some of
his section tearing into the guts of the probes and seeing if they can be used
during the planetary flyby or for distress beacons when we get close to home.
Otherwise, they go overboard too. But let’s talk about your immediate
concerns.”
She leaned
closer. “With the Symborski drive it usually takes us about three days and sixteen
hours to cover a light year. But if we are forced to leave this star system at
a much slower velocity than we planned, a trip home from here that should take
about five weeks could take much longer, especially adding in the time it may
take to rescue us from a solar orbit not near the earth. We may end up all
crowded into this room in our pressure suits, eating emergency rations and
trying not to freeze.” She looked grim.
“Telling…ghost stories in the dark?” asked Karlinsky, not stopping to
think.
“Exactly,
Karlinsky! You might be organizing ghost story contests to keep us all sane until
we get rescued. Any other morale-building ideas? You might need a lot of
them.”
“Uh, uh, not
right this second, Colonel.” That food exchange system? Suggest it later? A contest to name the alien
teacher and all her students? Too crazy?
“Well, morale
officer, you have 24 hours to come up with 23 additional activity ideas for
evaluation. Just make them better than your limerick contest.” She turned to
the display. Her expression softened. “And another thing. She really seems to
love those children, doesn’t she? She has to live inside one of those domes we
saw. She certainly isn’t breathing methane and mixed hydrocarbons at
temperatures cold enough to freeze a penguin solid. So, what do you think of
her?”
Karlinsky
was too wrung out to be anything but truthful. “Well, ma’am, at first glance she
looked a bit…grotesque. But now, you know, she’s really not that bad looking.
But I wonder. What does that seven-pointed star mean?”
“It might
mean she’s a member in good standing of the teacher’s union. Or it could mean
that she’s of marrying age and wishes to
meet a tall, dark stranger. And you could qualify, Karlinsky. Maybe one of her
girlfriends or cousins is even prettier than she is. You can bet that the next
ship we send to this system will have landing craft, so you may meet them all.
Which may result in a personal problem if she’s as human as she looks. It’s the
same problem my husband had when I first introduced him to my father. My father
asked, ‘A second lieutenant, young man? How much money does a second lieutenant
make and can you support my daughter on that?’ What could you say to him?”
“Oh. Oh!
I’ve never thought of that.” Yes, what exactly could the salaries of two second
lieutenants buy in, say, Milan?
“Well, I’m
ordering you to think about it. When I got married we were both second lieutenants
and we damn near ended up eating soy protein casserole seven days a week. So, think
of your future. Now, get out of here and get to work. I need this table for a
senior staff meeting. And don’t forget that training schedule!”
Suit Station
10 was up forward in officer country just down the corridor from Karlinsky’s
closet-sized office. As the conveyor pulled him along, other officers and staff
in emergency suits passed him heading aft to attend the meeting that would
decide how to gut the ship. He realized his hot idea of a food exchange system
was now ridiculous. Crewmembers anticipating eating emergency rations would eat
any edible meal pack without complaint. Nor would they be inclined to write
limericks or standup routines for a talent show while tearing excess weighty
hardware out of the ship. The world turned upside down again; a crew trained to
repair and preserve valuable hardware would have to turn their minds to
deciding how much of it was now superfluous.
“Hey, wait a
minute,” he said aloud. “Record the weight of everything that gets tossed overboard
and record the crewmember who suggested it. The crewmember with the highest total
wins…what? All the remaining chocolate bars? A Gargarin medal?” He was out of ideas
and needed suggestions to complete his idea.
But all the people whose suggestions counted were in a meeting he
couldn’t attend because he wasn’t senior staff. Yet.
But not for
long. Not for long! He would just have to figure out how to work his way
through this situation and pound out some good ideas one by one.
He pulled out
his handheld. “Screen, activate. Display contest software library inventory!”
After this,
climbing in the Dolomites or wreck diving was going to seem easy.
It's a goofy story, isn't it? But I tried to raise a few questions for discussion. Maybe aliens WON'T look like sea cucumbers with tentacles. And maybe a commanding officer has to kick some junior officers in the ass to get them on the road to promotion. Comments?
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