art by Will Ferret
1. Housewares
“I don’t have time to arrange for a driverless to pick you
up, Ryan,” Murray said.
“Dad, hey what: You could send one, on your way, just link
in, shit.” The boy was looking at him
steadily, with something closer to disgust than defiance. Not such a boy,
perhaps, Murray thought. Ryan wanted to go see his girl friend and he had that
primeval flatness in his brown eyes, that stony lack of expression that teen
boys got when they were strategizing getting laid. But he had his mother’s
skin, the color of a latte, and her long slender hands. Murray ached, when he
looked at the boy’s hands, and thought of his wife, and the suicide…
“You can see Tarina tomorrow,” Murray said. “It’s not that
easy to get a driverless in here, they’re booked up this time of day.
Eventually I’m going to buy a personal
driverless. But not right now—and I can’t afford a lifter—”
“Nobody’s asking for a fucking helicopter.”
“Come on, grant me a modicum of respect here, boy, don’t
talk to me like that.”
“You won’t let us ConVect—”
“You want to go under tech that far, you do it when you move
out. You know what I think of that. And don’t
roll your eyes.”
Murray turned to go. “Wynn could drop me off.”
“Don’t have time, it’s the opposite direction.” He felt
dishonest saying it. She was only a few blocks the wrong way.
“You just don’t want
me to see her.”
That was partly true. And Murray tried to stay honest with
the kid.
He paused at the door, turning to Ryan. The door waited to
see if he wanted it to open or not. “No, I do
want you to see her, I like
Tarina. I just don’t want you to go see her when her folks aren’t home. And when
I’m not somewhere around. That’s the understanding I have with her old man. He
sent me a bunch of facers and made himself clear.”
“They are at home.”
“I mean—they’re almost always under tech. That’s not home.
Being in that state…”
Ryan cocked his head, crossed his arms. “You’re going to see a woman. But I can’t.”
Murray was startled. “It’s part of the study, Ryan, it’s not—”
“You told Wynn you were thinking of bringing her home.”
“What?” He stared. He couldn’t deny it. “I told you not to
vultch me.”
“I didn’t vultch you, you left your screen on—”
“And you read what was on it. That’s skulky too. It’s just
as bad…I have to go.”
“You going to make a bid for that girl?”
“A bid? No! You
don’t know what you’re talking about! It’s the study, that’s all it is. Jesus Fuck. Okay now Wynn’s car is
honking, out there. Got to go. I’ve got
timers on all the faces so you’re going to have to do your schoolwork on the
tablet. Dinner’s already prepping. Eat without me but I won’t be home late.
We’ll figure out a time for you to see Tarina—probably tomorrow. Or the next day.”
He could feel his son watching him as he turned to the door.
The door realized he wanted it open before he’d finished turning, and it was
open for him and he went out to the driverless where Wynn waited in the back
seat…
2. Just Down the Street
Ryan put up the hood on his jacket. A thin, warm rain fell; the suburban streets were dark with it, the sidewalks reptilian gray. It wasn’t the real Connecticut monsoon yet. Maybe just a hint that it was coming.
He had only walked down his own street once before, when he’d gone
along with Dad on the neighborhood Greet. The Greeters had a strollbot rolling
with them; the bot had licensing, and the drones left them alone. Even the
houses didn’t react to them. It had been boring.
This wasn’t going to be boring. He knew that and it scared
him a little. Two thirds the neighborhoods on the Eastern Seaboard were HiSec;
it’d gone that way quickly after Home Brethren blew up the dikes protecting
Atlantic City.
Ryan walked on, realizing he was maybe more afraid, out
here, than he’d ever been in his life. Afraid of the houses. And when the
Defense Panel opened above the garage door of the lime green ranch style house
on his left and the gun muzzle thrust out to point at him, its warning light
flashing…he valued boredom again.
“Do not approach the
house,” said a genderless voice from the garage. The warning was followed
by a steady, baleful beeping sound. It was a wordless warning, but even clearer
than the voice’s message.
No quick moves, hodey.
Ryan turned and walked slowly away from the house, into the middle of the
street. Then he pivoted slowly to the left and walked down the street toward
Tarina’s…
The gun tracked him; the light kept flashing red. He kept his
stride steady. Only his heartbeat sped up.
A car was coming up behind him, chiming a soft warning, but
he didn’t move out of its way. He knew
the car would stop—they were always self driving in this area. The car pulled
up and its polite, digitally reproduced female voice said, “Waiting to safely pass. Please move slightly to the left.” He angled
just enough to the left so the car could pass on his right. He glanced at is as
it went by. The sedan was glittery purple, low slung, almost silent. No one rode in
the front seats. In back, a middle aged couple—both spiky haired, much
tattooed—were entirely focused on their conversation. Then the woman looked at
him, probably startled at his closeness to the car.
He hoped they might offer him a ride, drop him off in front
of Tarina’s house. But of course they didn’t. They didn’t even roll down the
window. They just cruised by, staring.
The car left Ryan behind, and he took three more long
strides—and then heard the soft hum of the first drone. He could feel and
smell the oily wind of its rotors.
He glanced up, saw the double-oval of the UAV about thirty
feet over his head: in outline like a giant
pair of sleek eyeglasses passing over, rotors spinning where the lenses should
be. Apart from the flight mechanism the entire drone was a camera, nano-inflected
coating taking in his image, transferring it to the chip, transmitting to a human
monitor in some distant place.
“Pedestrian,” the
drone called, in a mellow voice, somehow no less threatening than house voices,
“you are remaining too long in the
street.”
He angled toward the sidewalk. When he stepped up onto the
curb another panel opened above another
garage and another gun thrust out and tracked him. Another red light strobed. Another
computer generated voice warned him. He kept going, heart pounding, trying not
to run.
He glanced at the ranch style homes on his left; the bigger
split level home across the street on his right. All the windows were set for
opaque. The people inside, like the houses, were turned away from the outer
world. Most of them were home, he knew, since most people in a neighborhood
like this telecommuted, or rented out their biocogs. When they weren’t
telecommuting, they were probably under tech. No one had bothered to build a
fence. It was superfluous; the houses were so hard to get into that owners who
came home drunk in a driverless cab sometimes spent an uncomfortable night in
their own driveways. The house knew not to shoot them, but most still required
a second identification protocol before they’d open.
When you were under tech you wanted the protection. You were
too vulnerable without it.
The drone was still following, its shadow a shape like dark
glasses on the sidewalk. After a few more steps it spoke to him, a little more
insistently this time. “Pedestrian in proximity, please turn on your street
licensing. Please call a strollbot. Please identify your home.”
Ryan called out his name and home address.
The drone seemed to ponder. Then, “Please turn on your
street licensing.”
“I haven’t got any on me. Or a strollbot either.”
“Your personal
information isn’t verifiable at this time. Please stop walking until
verification.”
“No, sorry,” Ryan said, trying to keep his tone even. A
negative stress analysis could get him arrested. But he was only a half block,
maybe less, from Tarina’s house. “I’m almost at my destination!” he added.
“Your heart rate is elevated, is
there something we should be concerned about?” the drone asked.
“No!” he told it, walking a little faster. It was that house
on the left, right on the corner…
He ground his teeth, shivering with anger at his father. They could have lived in an area without a
HiSec Contract. But Dad said he had to be careful, because people invested in
meergas were pissed off at him and some were in investor cults, which were
known for violence.
So what. Dad could get another job, he could study something
else, he didn’t have to piss people off…Really unfair…
“You’re hurrying now, is there something we
should be concerned about?”
“No!”
“Please stop for
discussion.”
“No I don’t have to! I live on this street! Look it up!”
“We are not equipped
with voice identification. Facial I.D. is inconclusive. Please stop for possible
temporary detention—”
“No! I’m just going to see my friend on the corner! She
lives around here and so do I! I already gave you my fucking address! I’m just
going to four-five-five Willow Row!”
“Hey kid!” came a
different voice from the drone; an annoyed, weary older male voice. The human monitor.
“Stop, for crying out loud! It’s no big
deal! They send a car, they call your old man,
hodey takes you home, no harm no foul! Won’t take more than an hour!
Walking around like that here is too dangerous!”
He knew the monitor was right. Neighborhood security detention
was nothing much. You sat in a waiting room, you watched television, your dad
picked you up. A little exasperation all around and it was over. They wouldn’t
hurt him and it wouldn’t take all that long.
But…he was going to see Tarina. That’s how it was going to
be.
He was angering the house on his left. It had opened a panel
under an opaque front window, as well as
over the garage door. Two sets of lights flashed alternately red and orange…
The next house was Tarina’s. The door knew him and he had
the access code, if her dad hadn’t changed it.
The drone started warning him in the automatic voice again,
saying it might be forced to drop a taser net if he didn’t stop, please stop…
But it was only about thirty-five steps to her front door…
Now: Just run.
Ryan jolted into a
sprint, trying to confuse the devices with sudden motion and a sharp turn, cutting
across the corner of a lawn to get into her front yard faster. But the lawn was
in front of the angry house, and the grass was artificial, slippery, so he fell, skidding, on his stomach. He heard a
loud thudding report that echoed down the street as something kicked him in the
left hip.
Shouldn’t have crossed
that house’s lawn…
The angry house was reciting the Home Protection Bill, and the
laws that gave it the right to do what it had done. It sounded so distant, now,
as if the voice were coming from another street…
Shaking, Ryan got up, feeling as if he were lifting an
enormous weight on his hip. He lurched forward, hearing the monitor’s voice
from the drone. “Kid—just get back down
and lay still! Don’t try to get up!”
But he was taking another step, an iciness spreading through
his left leg, as he stepped onto the bark dust verge of Tarina’s front yard. He
didn’t look down at the wound. He was afraid he’d fold up and start vomiting if
he did. He just went through a haze of growing numbness to the door, tapped the
code and, along with facial recognition, it was enough. The house had guessed
he might come.
The door opened. The house smelled of old sweat, of
unflushed toilets, unwashed people. But he went in, legs and stomach lurching,
hoarsely calling her name…
He could feel blood running warm down his leg, twining his
ankle.
“Tarina!”
The dusty hallway and front room were empty. Wasn’t she
home?
“Tarina!”
He stumbled down the hall. Something ran along the ceiling, clinging to it,
watching him. He felt it confirm his features with its laser, a warm lick
across him.
“Tarina!”
Her parents’ bedroom door was opened. The floor was all cushion,
wall to wall, no furnishings. All three of them were there, Tarina and her Mom
and Dad, lying on their backs side by side. Her dad—round bellied, bearded, in
yellowed underwear, wired, with tubes in his arm and at his crotch; her tall
skinny mom—tubed and wired, hair lank on a pillow, stertorous breathing.
Tarina was in pajamas; her shaved scalp had grown dark stubble, her thin cheeks
were sunken. Her lips were parted, half-open
eyes flicking in REM movements; her arms and legs twitched in dreams. She’d
given up waiting, and gone under tech.
Poised directly over all three of them was the inductor,
like a hood over a gas stove, communicating with their interfaces and biocog
chips. He felt like it was feeding on Tarina.
He took a step toward her, then heard a wet pattering sound,
looked down at the scored-open flesh of his left hip; a bit of bone showing
pinkish white; shotgun pellets in pockmarks. Runneling blood…a puddle growing
around his leg…
He went to his knees, and that seemed to open a door for the
pain. He hissed when it rippled through him, and let himself fall across Tarina,
his whole lower half throbbing with hurt. He could smell her, and her parents,
quite sharply. His other senses were fading.
“Tarina…”
She didn’t respond. Why was it so dark in the room? And darker.
She didn’t respond. Why was it so dark in the room? And darker.
3. Non-standard Meerga
Murray sat at the desk, in the little glass-walled office the
meerga company had loaned him. He was watching the video on the desk top.
Nothing much of interest in this interview with a standard meerga. She was
beautiful, chirpy, and dim witted, as they all were.
He went back to the first video interview with Addy Creske
and his wife Scalia. Both were tall, blond people—Addy’s hair was lush but
short. Hers was long, but the fine strands on them both seemed identical. Probably
they’d had the same gen-en cosmetic styling done. The Creskies were a tanned,
fit couple, late fifties but looking late thirties. They’d had all the cell
renewals. They both wore white, though Addy’s suit was more a cream color. Scalia
wore a linen pants suit, with a low cut blouse. She had long sculpted
fingernails, sparkling intricately—something about the zodiac. Scalia’s teeth
were perfect and shiningly white; so were Addy’s. His nails were colored, too,
in a sort of glossy dull-gold that matched his designer choker.
“We did have some reservations,” Scalia was saying. She
spoke through a smile; it scarcely varied. “The study had overtones of…”
She looked at her husband for support. “Hostility,” Addy
suggested.
“Yes. Hostility. An assumption that we were inhumane. But we
treat meergas very kindly. We’re never inhumane. We don’t sell them to anyone
who won’t treat them well—they have to sign a contract to that effect. We have
to be able to monitor them. We don’t sell them to sadists. Everyone has to have
a frontal lobe scan before they can buy a meerga.”
“The origins of the term meerga—kind of insensitive?”
Murray’s voice asked—he’d interviewed them from off camera.
Addy shrugged. “It’s from Mere Girl, as that was the
original name for the company, and we did assign them numbers, Mere Girl one,
two, up through a hundred three. Some people were bothered by that. They were
mixing up human girls with ours, in their minds, so we went with our own
inhouse slang, meerga, and no one seems to mind…”
“And now you’ve given
them names instead of numbers.”
“We give them each a name, yes. Numbers are used only for filing. We actually
give them a selection of names and we
watch how they react and we give them the one they seem to react to best. We’ve
just started using Molly and Thumbelina.”
“Thumbelina? Okay, well—the genetic engineering of these
girls—”
“We don’t like the term girls
with respect to our product,” Scalia broke in, her voice brittle. “We
prefer meerga, or ‘peep pets’.”
Murray’s voice, on the video, was harder to hear than
theirs. “They’re pretty thoroughly human, in most respects. They’re…I mean, low
IQs don’t exclude a mentally handicapped girl, born in the conventional way,
from being called a human. A human girl.”
“Their DNA is so very
designer modeled,” Addy said, with a patronizing smile. “They simply can’t be
considered human. They’re genetically engineered pets. On the exterior they look like beautiful human
models.”
“They feel like it
too,” said Scalia impishly. “I mean—if you stroke them, play with them, they
feel like a beautiful human girl. They have such incredibly lovely skin. It’s
literally a work of art.”
“But—doesn’t it ever disturb you that, looking so human, they’re
used almost entirely for sex?”
Scalia blinked. “Well. They can also be trained for simple
serving. Just, you know, carrying trays of canapés, that kind of thing.”
“They’re also great decorator pieces,” Addy put in. He
seemed quite deadpan serious about it.
“—but at the very least it encourages people to think about
women as sex objects alone. Mentally handicapped ones in this case.”
“I don’t think of
human women that way,” said Addy blandly. “And I use the product. So does my
wife! We love our pets.”
His smiling wife nodded enthusiastically.
“They’re illegal in most countries. Doesn’t that suggest
that the majority of people are repelled by them?”
“You see?” Addy shook his head sadly. “Hostility. We’re completely legal in the USA.”
“A special law had to be passed and the campaign
contributions from Creske Labs were—”
“It’s not your job to get political here, is it?” Scalia interrupted, still smiling—but
smiling in a puzzled way. “You’re doing a scientific study. To give congress
cover, really, that’s all.”
Addy looked at her warningly. The remark about congress had
been awkward.
“Do any of your customers ever feel odd about having sex with a person who’s only about four years old?”
“Do any of your customers ever feel odd about having sex with a person who’s only about four years old?”
“They’re not a person,
in the human sense,” said Addy stiffly. “They’re meerga. They don’t even look
like human children—except in the growers, when no one sees them but the
technicians. When they wake up, they look exactly like adult women and men.
They’re simply not human. They’re a special category of human-like pets. That
is, pets that appear human. But aren’t.”
“Pets men have sex with.”
Addy waved dismissively. “And women do too! Have you seen
our male selection?”
“Yes. I have.” The males—the meerbas—were even more
distasteful to Murray, perhaps because he was the father of a boy. “But if
they’re not human—why do some men marry the meerga females?”
“They don’t, in this country. That’s something that happens
with a few people in the United Muslim Republic. We can’t control every last
thing they do with meergas when they get them there. Meergas cannot have
offspring—so I don’t see the harm of having some sort of silly marriage
ceremony, if it’s not illegal to ‘marry’ a pet in their country. But they all know they’re not people. They leave them
in their wills to their children! The meergas can live to be more than two
hundred, and stay pretty for most of that time, before they start aging—that’s
a valuable commodity.”
“What about the
cast-offs, the ones you guys put down at birth? Less pretty?”
“Happens with pet breeding,” Addy said, shrugging sullenly.
Murray hit pause, freezing Addy in his shrug, and fast-forwarded
to the images of the girl who insisted on calling herself Meerga. She wouldn’t say why she called herself only Meerga. Murray
suspected it was a kind of statement of solidarity with her duller sisters.
Her official name had been Salome. Then one day she’d
refused to be addressed by that name. Refusal was unknown, among meergas. But soon
she began to make demands, and refused to eat, demanding they first give her a
room of her own, and something to draw with. Demands too were unknown among
Meergas.
They’d planned to have her put to sleep, of course, but
their biotechs had wanted to observe her first, run some tests, see what had
gone wrong. Then the Murray’s study became aware of her, and made its own
rather indeterminate determination. Her skull was normal—that is, normal for
ordinary human beings. A standard meerga’s skull seemed normal externally, but
was mostly porous bone, inside, down to a brain less than half the size of a
typical human’s. Meerga’s brain was the size of a conventional human’s and, if
anything, she was a genius by conventional human standards.
The biotechs suspected one of their subordinates had
tampered with her growth patterns. Certainly someone had given her extra mental
imagery through the inducers. It was standard for them to be placed in
inspection units already knowing how to speak; to arrive there housebroken and
prone to cleanliness and with a basic sense of cosmetic style and a hairtrigger
for heterosexual arousal. They were also given a variety of specialized skills,
most of them inputted through direct cerebral induction. But someone had put
too much data in a brain that should never have been as large as it was.
Mutation was presumed–but perhaps an artificially induced mutation?
There she was, in the video with some of the other girls,
treating them like pets herself, stroking their hair, smiling lovingly at them,
giving them sweets from her food tray—treating them like toddlers, really. The
other meergas were clearly little more than imbeciles. Passive, gently playful
imbeciles—imbeciles who were potty trained, who showered; who brushed their
teeth and could learn simple massage, and songs. They all had perfect pitch. But
they were essentially imbeciles. All but Meerga.
Meerga was intelligent, compassionate, empathetic—no one had
modeled empathy for her, until the study, but she had always had it—and there
was a good possibility her IQ was higher than Murray’s. She wasn’t quite ready
to take the test yet.
He fast-forwarded to a video of Meerga drawing on her walls.
Intricate designs. They were naïve landscapes, very neatly done, with
perspective. Things she’d never seen in person.
“Murray.”
He started to hit the off switch on the screen, then
realized he was being foolish, and smiled up at her. “Meerga. I was just
looking at your art.”
She stood shyly in the doorway, Beth Ganset standing like a
fond aunt behind her.
Meerga was tall, willowy, blond, blue eyed; not one of the
bustier meerga models. She wore sun-yellow pajamas, and slippers. She refused
to wear the diaphanous outfits that were
used for sales presentation. Any refusal was unthinkable for a meerga—but that
one had stunned the trainers.
“Hello Meerga. Beth.”
Almost as old as Murray, Beth Ganset wore a white doctor’s
jacket and the wrist scanner. Her horn rim
smart glasses and bobbed hair made her seem more medical, somehow. Murray was a
PhD psychologist; Beth was a psychiatrist, crucial to the study’s funding. She
was about a head shorter than Meerga, and had to look past the girl’s shoulder to be
seen by Murray. “She wanted to talk to you, Murray. Is now okay?”
“Sure. How’s her schoolwork going?”
Beth chuckled. “I cannot keep up with the girl.”
“I’m not surprised. She’s scary smart.”
Meerga raised her eyebrows. “It’s scary?” She seemed faintly
alarmed, though her voice remained soft, lilting. It was designed that way.
“No. Just an expression.”
“What are you up to?”
Beth asked him, nodding toward the screen.
“Trying to decide if the initial video interview should go
in the study’s final report, amongst other things. Come on in, you guys, don’t
hang about out there…”
Beth shook her head. “You guys talk. I’ve got to get back to
checking brain volumes…”
“Anything new there?”
“Nope. No one else like Meerga so far.” She waved goodbye
and walked off, murmuring to her smart glasses.
Meerga came in. She looked at the chair across from him.
“Have a seat, Meerga.”
“Thank you.”
She sat down. Her movements were sensuous, graceful. She was
designed that way, too.
He looked in her crystal-blue eyes, and saw a seamless mix
of intelligence and puzzlement. “You always look a little puzzled,” he said,
gently. “What are you puzzling about?”
She tilted her head to one side and thought about it. “It’s
more confused than puzzled. When I look at you, and Beth, and the trainers,
here, and I look at the other girls…”
“Beth and I explained how you were all gestated. The lack of
parents, the profit motive here, what
money is…”
“Yes, I understand all that.” She fluttered the delicate
fingers of one hand. Her fingernails
were innately colored a pearly pink. They were always perfectly shaped, without
a manicure. If she broke one, another grew. Otherwise, they had stopped
growing.
It was all in the study. Which was coming to an end.
“I’m confused about why I’m more like…like Beth. Than I’m
like the other girls. I mean, the way I think and talk.”
“Beth explained mutation to you?”
“Yes. You think it’s that?”
“We’re not sure. But it’s something along those lines.”
“But I am like the
others in some ways.”
“You’re very different in important ways, Meerga. You’re not
suited for—well, I think it’s all a mistake, really, to sell meergas. Completely wrong. But you especially…don’t belong here.”
“Not sure I belong outside. I don’t know. Haven’t seen much.”
He nodded. “Not so far.” They’d only let Beth take Meerga to
the park. She’d shown real excitement on seeing the trees, the pond, the ducks,
lifters flying overhead. It was an excitement she never displayed in the
training center—except just a little, when she was given new reading on her
tablet. The encyclopedia download lit flames in her eyes. “Beth told you we’re
working on taking you out of here—and I think we’ve almost got it arranged.”
Her eyes widened—it was a beautiful effect. “Really?” She
frowned prettily. “But the Creskes won’t allow it.”
“They won’t have a choice.”
“And—the study is ending?”
“Oh yes. Just a few days more. They’re going to be glad to
see us gone. I was hoping the study would push congress into making this place
illegal but…” He shook his head. “The preliminary report didn’t seem to impress
them. A lot of congressmen own meergas.”
“What if someone buys me before you can get me out?”
“I…had a discussion about that, yesterday, with Addy. He
says it won’t happen. You’re…” He didn’t want to use the word defective. “You’re not the kind of product
they sell. He says the study can take charge of you, if we pay costs.”
Her lips parted. She seemed to stop breathing for a moment.
“I can go with you?”
“Um—yes, with us. You can stay with one of us, and we’ll
find somewhere you can…someone to adopt you.”
“I want you to adopt me, Murray. I want to live with you.”
His mouth went dry. “…Ah.”
“And I’d like to have children. Someday.”
“What?” He’d thought Meerga was clear she couldn’t have
children. And did she mean with him?
“I mean,” she said, “I’d like to adopt a baby someday. A
normal baby.”
“Oh! Someday you probably can. First—”
Murray’s screen chimed. URGENT
CALL lit up. He touched the screen icon. “Yes?”
“Dr. Stathis?”
He felt a chill. “Yes.”
“This is Meredith Kinz at Hartford Central. We have your son
Ryan here. He’s been shot. He’s lost a lot of blood...”
4. Cell Repair
“I know: ‘It’s been a month, so get out of bed,’” Ryan said,
his voice listless. He was sitting up in his bed, looking at the tablet in his
lap.
The tablet, Murray knew, was looking back.
“I didn’t say anything like that, Ryan.” Murray stretched,
and yawned. He had slept in too. He’d managed trousers and a t-shirt, but he
was still barefoot.
“I was going to get up,” Ryan murmured. “It doesn’t hurt
much to walk now…Just not sleeping that well.” He still hadn’t looked up from
the tablet.
“I’ve got a prescription for you from Beth, for that. But you can’t start being dependent on pills.”
“I’ve got a prescription for you from Beth, for that. But you can’t start being dependent on pills.”
“Okay, hey.”
When I was his age, I’d have said Whatever, Murray thought. It was saying the same thing.
Murray cleared his throat.
“Actually–I came in to ask if you want to have some coffee with me.” He’d
never known Ryan to take an interest in coffee, but he thought Ryan might like
the man-to-man inclusion of the offer.
Ryan tilted his head—but kept looking into the tablet. “Um…I
don’t like coffee. Makes me anxious.” He shrugged. “I like hot chocolate.”
“I want to try hot chocolate,” Meerga said, coming in. “They
didn’t give it to us at the training center. No hot drinks. I think they were
afraid we’d burn ourselves.” She wore jeans with a hole in one knee, and an
oversized sweatshirt, and dirty white tennis shoes. Yet she was impossibly
attractive, even dressed like that.
And now Ryan looked up from the tablet—at Meerga.
“That place we went by last week, when we walked in that park,”
Ryan said tentatively. “They have hot chocolate. If we can get a driverless to
pick us up, and…”
His voice trailed off; his eyes got a little glassy. He was
probably thinking about Tarina.
“Did she call?” Meerga said.
Meerga had an eerie
way of seeming to read minds. But Murray thought it was just her precocity—and
her gift for observing people.
“No.” He glanced at the tablet. His voice was hard to hear.
“She went back under tech soon as her dad let the ambulance guys in...”
“How do you know?” Murray asked. “You were out cold.”
“I talked to Sharma…her cousin.” He nodded at the tablet.
“She went to see what was up. They’re all three still under tech. More than a
month later…”
“I see. Well. Let’s get a driverless, and go get some hot
chocolate. Actually I think I’ll have a mocha.”
“Is that place safe?” Meerga asked, looking at Murray.
He felt the usual inner shock when she looked at him—her
frankness, her openness, her almost diabolically sculpted beauty. “There’s some
auto security around the coffee shop, but it’s nothing like in the residential
areas. We’ll be fine.”
“I’m not going to do anything else stupid,” Ryan said,
looking at her a little resentfully.
But he couldn’t keep any sullenness in him, long, when he
was looking at her. After a moment, a dreamy smile ghosted the corners of his
mouth…
I shouldn’t have brought her here, Murray thought. How could
he not become sexually obsessed with her?
She never seemed to flirt with the boy. When she looked at
Murray, though, sometimes—he thought she was trying to convey something. Which worried
him almost as much.
But she needed the
home. Beth’s place was really small. And she was helpful; she wasn’t intrusive.
She had social skills that should’ve been beyond her. Some other residence
could be found. But she was so attractive he was afraid for her. He had
arranged for her entry into the wide world; he had to take responsibility.
Murray took a deep breath. “I’ll call a driverless.”
Murray took a deep breath. “I’ll call a driverless.”
5. Embraced
“Ryan’s been home from the hospital for a month and a half,
Beth, the nerve damage has been repaired and…well, he has a small limp but
really, he’s healed up well. It’s just—I guess it’s the thing with Tarina. He
has some form of PTSD. He’s hardly sleeping, at all. I don’t know…”
He was talking to her from the screen in the extra bedroom
he used for an office. Beth listened to him a little like a psychiatrist, but
there was intimacy in it too. They’d dated, recently, and sometimes he thought
about asking her to marry him. She might well say yes. He wasn’t madly
attracted to her, but she was a kindly, intelligent woman, she was his good
friend, and she liked Ryan. The boy was merely polite to her, though.
“I don’t have to tell you to be patient with him,” she said.
Then she smiled. “But be patient with him.” She hesitated, then added, “There
are some very clean antidepressants now. Almost no side effects.”
“Right. But…I’d rather not go there if we don’t have to.”
“How’s he getting along with Meerga?”
“Oh—he adores her. What boy wouldn’t?” He laughed softly.
“He doesn’t do
anything to…”
“No, no, he knows she’s really only seven years old.”
“When I was there for dinner I thought she was…gazing at you, sort of.”
“Gazing?”
“I mean, she may be somewhat emotionally fixated on you.”
“We’ve pretty much adopted her, after all.”
“You know what I mean…”
“Well…Yes.”
Two nights ago she’d knocked on his bedroom door…
“Doctor Stathis?”
“Yes, Meerga?”
“Am I disturbing you?”
“No, I was just
watching an old movie.”
“Can I watch it?”
“Oh…” He was lying on his bed, watching a very old movie indeed. Early Fred Astaire. What was the harm in watching Fred Astaire with her? “Sure.”
“Oh…” He was lying on his bed, watching a very old movie indeed. Early Fred Astaire. What was the harm in watching Fred Astaire with her? “Sure.”
She came in, wearing a
slip, her bathrobe and slippers, and sat down cross-legged on the bed beside
him. On the screen, Fred and Ginger were gliding across a shining ballroom.
“Wow. They look
happy,” Meerga said.
“Sure. But really,
Ginger was probably hoping desperately that this was a final take because her
feet were killing her.”
Meerga laughed,
apparently getting the joke. She looked fondly at him. “You’re sweet to let me
watch this with you.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks.”
She put a hand over
his. And she was gazing at him.
He looked at her.
“What’s up, kiddo?”
“I’m made for men…”
“You’re going to school
and you’ll be going to go to college. You’ll meet men. In twelve years or so
you’ll be legal to…do whatever you feel like with them. I doubt you get much
resistance.”
“But what about you?”
His heart was
pounding. But he managed to smile dismissively. “You’re something like magic,
Meerga. But that part of your magic, I will always resist. I’m too old for you
and…it would be wrong for about ten reasons. I’d rather not recite them…”
They watched the movie
a little more. He knew she was crying, silently, as she watched it. He didn’t
look at her. Then she squeezed his hand and left the bedroom...
“Yes,” he said now. “But she’ll get over that. I don’t
encourage her. You can ask her about it if you want.”
Beth shook her head. “I’m sure she’s safe with you. I
wouldn’t hold it against you for just being
tempted that way. You’re only human and she’s…designed.”
“Right. She is very thoroughly designed. But I’ve got it
under control. I was actually thinking you might be able to help me out with
that temptation thing. I was hoping we could have a weekend, you know, just you
and me.”
Beth’s quick smile was as genuine as a sudden light in a
dark room. “Yes! That’d be great! Only, we
should bring Ryan and Meerga, get them each a room. She’ll see how things are.
And…so would Ryan.”
They talked a little more, and then hung up—and Murray had a
sudden urge to check on Ryan. Just have a quick look in on his son. Who was so
like him, in some ways.
Meerga had been spending a lot of time with Ryan. Hadn’t he
heard her footsteps, padding by, earlier, on the way to Ryan’s room? He hadn’t
thought about it, then…
“Oh Jesus,” he murmured.
He got up quickly, went down the hall—and hesitated, his
hand on Ryan’s bedroom door. He could smell her natural perfume. She had been here, at
this door.
You have to know…
Murray opened the door, and froze. She was there, in the
shadowy room—and she was in bed with Ryan.
“Meerga?”
She stirred. Murray went closer, his eyes adjusting to the dim
light. After a moment, he could see she was lying on top of the comforter. Ryan
was under the blankets, turned away from her. She had her arm draped over Ryan,
spooning against him like a mother with a child. Or like a comforting big
sister. He remembered the way she’d been with the other girls, at the training
center; he remembered she wanted children.
They were both asleep. He hadn’t given the boy his sleeping
pill, but Ryan was breathing deeply, and smiling in his sleep.
Murray felt a sick tautness go out of him. He felt better
than he had in months. Maybe years.
He left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
He left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
Return next week to read
only on
No comments:
Post a Comment