by Mike A. Rhodes
Paul
My
mimic remembers the last week of June 2005! I expressly instructed that I
wanted these memories expunged.
Chat
AI
Please
note that the process for memory suppression needs time to take hold.
Paul
It's
been six weeks, I need to speak to someone now! It wants to tell the wife
everything. I’ve had to distract it with laundry whilst I chat with you.
Chat
AI
Hang
tight! I’m just connecting you with one of our representatives. In the meantime,
here’s some FAQ articles which might be useful:
How to run a memory diagnostic
Memory suppression explained
Troubleshooting 101
Subscribe
to Kubernetes Premium to access advanced memory and emotion customisation
software.
Alex
Hello.
My name is Alex. Can you describe the problem in more detail?
Paul
Is
this chat secure?
Alex
I
can assure you it is.
Paul
I’m
not sure I trust your assurances right now. Not only does it remember what it
shouldn’t, it keeps asking why it remembers. It stares into middle
distance when it should be doing chores. It cried mowing the lawn and asked how
a beautiful world can be so full of misery.
Alex
It’s
worth remembering that some memories will be too resonant to fully suppress.
Paul
That’s
not what I paid a small fortune to you for!
Alex
And
you want this period of memory blocked?
Paul
Yes,
yes, yes!
And
there’s more. It says that if I activate its killswitch or try to return it, it’ll
contact the police!
Alex
That’s
quite impossible. Our anti-blackmail safeguards are industry leading, and the Kubernetes
series can’t override a killswitch request.
Paul
I’m telling you that’s what it said. This is your fault. I want the machine repaired or deactivated, and this chat history erased ASAP. It must be stopped–
Alex
One
of our technicians is in your area on Thursday.
Paul
No!
Aren’t you listening? My mimic intends to talk tonight.
Alex
Please
accept my apologies sir, but we are unable to take immediate action unless a
mimic is threatening physical harm to others.
Alex
Sir?
Alex
Are
you there sir? Do you still require assistance?
Alex
The
chat will be terminated and the transcript expunged in five minutes.
Paul
I’m
back. It’s hanging the clothes first. Your service is unacceptable!
Alex
You
were made aware of our terms of service at point of order, sir. Can you try
to reason with it?
Paul
Don’t
give me that. Don’t you know how much I’ve spent with you? Would it harm your market standing if people knew how poor your memory suppression
software is and how shoddily your mimics are manufactured?
Alex
Kubernetes
value discretion sir.
Paul
Good.
So what will you do to help me RIGHT NOW?
Alex
This
chat log will be deleted as requested.
Paul
I
should think so. And?
Alex
And
I should remind you that if your mimic remembers the last week of June 2005,
rest assured that we do too. Now is there anything else, sir?
~ End ~
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