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Wednesday, March 27, 2024

The Acceptance Speech for the Dannie Heineman Prize in Mathematical Physics

by Frederick Melancon 




I did it.  And this isn’t some utterance of joy for being awarded this prizewhich if it was just for the math, should’ve happened some time ago anywayand it's not directed (with the pronoun "we") toward the parents who I should be thanking nowthanks Mom, and go to Hell, Dadbecause that’s not accurate either.  Nor is a "we" version of this statement directed at my colleagues and university.  We all know how smart our coworkers areso I won’t insult anyone with false platitudes.  Sorry, Dr. Jacobs; I know you paid a lot for your seat here tonight.  No, I’ll be honest with this audience, because in the end, I alone made the math a reality.

In the past, the work in time travel has been extensive but littered with failed attempts and inept explanations afterward.  Don’t forget, this is science.   It’s okay to be wrong, but not stupid.  So once I got the math right, creating the machine from the theoretical computation was elementary.

After all, with all that scientific potential, I wasn’t going to leave the fun up to some engineers.  Also, for those wondering why I didn’t go back and get Einstein to introduce me at this podium instead of that other guy, that’s clever and entirely missing the point.  Dr. Jacobs has an empty seat next to him—why don’t you go there now.

We can’t go back in time, but with the creation of an anchor, the future can come back to us.  While that might seem disappointing to most because you’re only getting a portion of time, its implications are infinite. I'll put this in biological terms so that you can understand.  Imagine the cure for aging already at our fingertips, or the understanding of a disease and its actual ramifications gifted to us by a doctor who knows what they're talking about.  Such an idea may seem farfetched, even part of some movie, but while beyond your capacity to understand, my math, my truth, allowed for a device to bridge time.

Where is it?  I heard that, Dr. Jacobs.  Well, it’s not here for sure because that device doesn’t need to see the light of day.  Anyway, it takes quite a bit of time rebuilding what I affectionately called The Box.

That’s right, the world doesn’t need a car, or a gate, or even a police telephone booth.  We did paint the exterior blue.  Really, spray-painted to be accurate, and it was the grad student more than myself.  I was never really a fan of any of that sci fi make-believe.  Also, after pointing this out to the grad student, he mysteriously transferred out of my department.

And it workedthe blue box, not the grad student.  At first, I wanted to go back for only a moment, just a few seconds.  That would’ve been the first test.  I’d initiate The Box, wait those few seconds, and then walk forward through the field it generated.  Unfortunately, I never got to do it, because someone beat me to it.

I’d like to say we thought about this possibility.  What if every idiot with a finger decided to turn the switch on The Box and to show up to witness greatness?  I can’t blame them.  Technically, the idea of reliving my glory sounded completely worthwhile.  The new grad student got it, and when I say it, I mean both the point and the switch.  They were supposed to turn the device off, but there wasn’t a chance for that.  After the repurposed toggle clicked into place, a man in a lab coat stood in the field. The first person to time travel.  I can’t tell you how much the coat bothered me.  After all, the lab isn’t a hospital or a school.  But, apparently, pretending’s fun in the future.

I didn't get a chance to tell the man what I thought about the coat because he walked over and slapped me in the face.  Obviously, there was a scuffle, and I'd like to report that I handily defeated my enemy.  But I promised at the beginning of this thing to be honest.  The funny part was that during the whole time the machine was left on, no one else came through.  It was as if nothing important had happened at all.

Don’t worry, it’s permanently off now.  The point here is that while I was heaving for breath and trying to clutch at the extent of certain newly acquired bruises, nothing else happened.  And how is it that holding pain never seems to make it feel better for long?  You just have to ride those stimuli out, but I'm sure enough of us have been through a bully induced beating to know that. 

Where was I?  Oh, thank you Dr. Jacobs, I knew you’d come in handy—the assailant as my colleague put it.  He sat there on the floor.

Now, some might think this person was some sort of time guardian or terrorist trying to stop the end of the world or interrupt greatness, and in a way, that person would be right about both.  You see the face.  It was so familiar—familial, actually.  It’s quite one thing to be told you're nothing by your father.  It’s another to be told that by your son.  So...I sent the boy back.  Okay, he left after saying what he came to say, and I destroyed that box...hence no one else here but me.

Not to worry, the onus of your mistakes won’t slide out of that field like it did for me.  Also, the math in the award packet is wrong.  So, it’s now impossible to replicate, and being that I’ve received this award seems to suggest that none of you understood it anyway.

So, you're welcome for destroying The Box, messing up the mathematics, and saving us all from looking our children in the face when they’re old enough to realize the truth about us.

What did you say Dr. Jacobs?  Oh, what did my unborn son say to me?  Nothing really.  The man, who at certain angles was a reflection of me, stared with his brows clenched, as the grad students say I look at them when they’ve asked a stupid question.  He then said, “I loved you.”  There was more he wanted to say.  I could tell.  His lips trembled in the way mine do when I want to tell off a foolish grad student, but unlike me, he was unable to get it out.

And that was it.  No one else came back.  There could’ve been those terrorists wanting revenge for a past wrong, or there could’ve been those doctors because I’m sure people are still getting sick.  No, just a son that I never knew, trying to inflict a little of the hurt that was inflicted on him.




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Archive of Stories
and Authors

Callum Leckie's
THE DIGITAL DECADENT


J.R. Torina's
ANTHROPOPHAGUS


J.R. Torina's
THE HOUSE IN THE PORT


J.R. Torina was DJ for Sonic Slaughter-
house ('90-'97), runs Sutekh Productions
(an industrial-ambient music label) and
Slaughterhouse Records (metal record
label), and was proprietor of The Abyss
(a metal-gothic-industrial c.d. shop in
SLC, now closed). He is the dark force
behind Scapegoat (an ambient-tribal-
noise-experimental unit). THE HOUSE
IN THE PORT is his first publication.

Sean Padlo's
NINE TENTHS OF THE LAW

Sean Padlo's
GRANDPA'S LAST REQUEST

Sean Padlo's exact whereabouts
are never able to be fully
pinned down, but what we
do know about him is laced
with the echoes of legend.
He's already been known
to haunt certain areas of
the landscape, a trick said
to only be possible by being
able to manipulate it from
the future. His presence
among the rest of us here
at the freezine sends shivers
of wonder deep in our solar plexus.


Konstantine Paradias & Edward
Morris's HOW THE GODS KILL


Konstantine Paradias's
SACRI-FEES

Konstantine Paradias is a writer by
choice. At the moment, he's published
over 100 stories in English, Japanese,
Romanian, German, Dutch and
Portuguese and has worked in a free-
lancing capacity for videogames, screen-
plays and anthologies. People tell him
he's got a writing problem but he can,
like, quit whenever he wants, man.
His work has been nominated
for a Pushcart Prize.

Edward Morris's
ONE NIGHT IN MANHATTAN


Edward Morris's
MERCY STREET

Edward Morris is a 2011 nominee for
the Pushcart Prize in literature, has
also been nominated for the 2009
Rhysling Award and the 2005 British
Science Fiction Association Award.
His short stories have been published
over a hundred and twenty times in
four languages, most recently at
PerhihelionSF, the Red Penny Papers'
SUPERPOW! anthology, and The
Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. He lives
and works in Portland as a writer,
editor, spoken word MC and bouncer,
and is also a regular guest author at
the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival.


Tim Fezz's
BURNT WEENY SANDWICH

Tim Fezz's
MANY SILVERED MOONS AGO

Tim Fezz hails out of the shattered
streets of Philly destroying the air-
waves and people's minds in the
underground with his band OLD
FEZZIWIG. He's been known to
dip his razor quill into his own
blood and pen a twisted tale
every now and again. We are
delighted to have him onboard
the FREEZINE and we hope
you are, too.

Daniel E. Lambert's
DEAD CLOWN AND MAGNET HEAD


Daniel E. Lambert teaches English
at California State University, Los
Angeles and East Los Angeles College.
He also teaches online Literature
courses for Colorado Technical
University. His writing appears
in Silver Apples, Easy Reader,
Other Worlds, Wrapped in Plastic
and The Daily Breeze. His work
also appears in the anthologies
When Words Collide, Flash It,
Daily Flash 2012, Daily Frights
2012, An Island of Egrets and
Timeless Voices. His collection
of poetry and prose, Love and
Other Diversions, is available
through Amazon. He lives in
Southern California with his
wife, poet and author Anhthao Bui.

Phoenix's
AGAIN AND AGAIN

Phoenix has enjoyed writing since he
was a little kid. He finds much import-
ance and truth in creative expression.
Phoenix has written over sixty books,
and has published everything from
novels, to poetry and philosophy.
He hopes to inspire people with his
writing and to ask difficult questions
about our world and the universe.
Phoenix lives in Salt Lake City, Utah,
where he spends much of his time
reading books on science, philosophy,
and literature. He spends a good deal
of his free time writing and working
on new books. The Freezine of Fant-
asy and Science Fiction welcomes him
and his unique, intense vision.
Discover Phoenix's books at his author
page on Amazon. Also check out his blog.

Adam Bolivar's
SERVITORS OF THE
OUTER DARKNESS


Adam Bolivar's
THE DEVIL & SIR
FRANCIS DRAKE



Adam Bolivar's
THE TIME-EATER


Adam Bolivar is an expatriate Bostonian
who has lived in New Orleans and Berkeley,
and currently resides in Portland, Oregon
with his beloved wife and fluffy gray cat
Dahlia. Adam wears round, antique glasses
and has a fondness for hats. His greatest
inspirations include H.P. Lovecraft,
Jack tales and coffee. He has been
a Romantic poet for as long as any-
one can remember, specializing in
the composition of spectral balladry,
utilizing to great effect a traditional
poetic form that taps into the haunted
undercurrents of folklore seldom found
in other forms of writing.
His poetry has appeared on the pages
of such publications as SPECTRAL
REALMS and BLACK WINGS OF
CTHULHU, and a poem of his,
"The Rime of the Eldritch Mariner,"
won the Rhysling Award for long-form
poetry. His collection of weird balladry
and Jack tales, THE LAY OF OLD HEX,
was published by Hippocampus Press in 2017.


Sanford Meschkow's
INEVITABLE

Sanford Meschkow is a retired former
NYer who married a Philly suburban
Main Line girl. Sanford has been pub-
lished in a 1970s issue of AMAZING.
We welcome him here on the FREE-
ZINE of Fantasy and Science Fiction.


Owen R. Powell's
NOETIC VACATIONS

Little is known of the mysterious
Owen R. Powell (oftentimes referred
to as Orp online). That is because he
usually keeps moving. The story
Noetic Vacations marks his first
appearance in the Freezine.

Gene Stewart
(writing as Art Wester)
GROUND PORK


Gene Stewart's
CRYPTID'S LAIR

Gene Stewart is a writer and artist.
He currently lives in the Midwest
American Wilderness where he is
researching tales of mystical realism,
writing ficta mystica, and exploring
the dark by casting a little light into
the shadows. Follow this link to his
website where there are many samples
of his writing and much else; come
explore.

Daniel José Older's
GRAVEYARD WALTZ


Daniel José Older's
THE COLLECTOR


Daniel José Older's spiritually driven,
urban storytelling takes root at the
crossroads of myth and history.
With sardonic, uplifting and often
hilarious prose, Older draws from
his work as an overnight 911 paramedic,
a teaching artist & an antiracist/antisexist
organizer to weave fast-moving, emotionally
engaging plots that speak whispers and
shouts about power and privilege in
modern day New York City. His work
has appeared in the Freezine of Fantasy
and Science Fiction, The ShadowCast
Audio Anthology, The Tide Pool, and
the collection Sunshine/Noir, and is
featured in Sheree Renee Thomas'
Black Pot Mojo Reading Series in Harlem.
When he's not writing, teaching or
riding around in an ambulance,
Daniel can be found performing with
his Brooklyn-based soul quartet
Ghost Star. His blog about the
ridiculous and disturbing world
of EMS can be found here.


Paul Stuart's
SEA?TV!


Paul Stuart is the author of numerous
biographical blurbs written in the third
person. His previously published fiction
appears in The Vault of Punk Horror and
His non-fiction financial pieces can be found
in a shiny, west-coast magazine that features
pictures of expensive homes, as well as images
of women in casual poses and their accessories.
Consider writing him at paul@twilightlane.com,
if you'd like some thing from his garage. In fall
2010, look for Grade 12 Trigonometry and
Pre-Calculus -With Zombies.


Rain Grave's
MAU BAST


Rain Graves is an award winning
author of horror, science fiction and
poetry. She is best known for the 2002
Poetry Collection, The Gossamer Eye
(along with Mark McLaughlin and
David Niall Wilson). Her most
recent book, Barfodder: Poetry
Written in Dark Bars and Questionable
Cafes, has been hailed by Publisher's
Weekly as "Bukowski meets Lovecraft..."
in January of 2009. She lives and
writes in San Francisco, performing
spoken word at events around the
country. 877-DRK-POEM -




Blag Dahlia's
armed to the teeth
with LIPSTICK



BLAG DAHLIA is a Rock Legend.
Singer, Songwriter, producer &
founder of the notorious DWARVES.
He has written two novels, ‘NINA’ and
‘ARMED to the TEETH with LIPSTICK’.


G. Alden Davis's
THE FOLD


G. Alden Davis wrote his first short story
in high school, and received a creative
writing scholarship for the effort. Soon
afterward he discovered that words were
not enough, and left for art school. He was
awarded the Emeritus Fellowship along
with his BFA from Memphis College of Art
in '94, and entered the videogame industry
as a team leader and 3D artist. He has over
25 published games to his credit. Mr. Davis
is a Burningman participant of 14 years,
and he swings a mean sword in the SCA.
He's also the best friend I ever had. He
was taken away from us last year on Jan
25 and I'll never be able to understand why.
Together we were a fantastic duo, the
legendary Grub Bros. Our secret base
exists on a cross-hatched nexus between
the Year of the Dragon and Dark City.
Somewhere along the tectonic fault
lines of our electromagnetic gathering,
shades of us peel off from the coruscating
pillars and are dropped back into the mix.
The phrase "rest in peace" just bugs me.
I'd rather think that Greg Grub's inimitable
spirit somehow continues evolving along
another manifestation of light itself, a
purple shift shall we say into another
phase of our expanding universe. I
ask myself, is it wishful thinking?
Will we really shed our human skin
like a discarded chrysalis and emerge
shimmering on another wavelength
altogether--or even manifest right
here among the rest without their
even beginning to suspect it? Well
people do believe in ghosts, but I
myself have long been suspicious
there can only be one single ghost
and that's all the stars in the universe
shrinking away into a withering heart
glittering and winking at us like
lost diamonds still echoing all their
sad and lonely songs fallen on deaf
eyes and ears blind to their colorful
emanations. My grub brother always
knew better than what the limits
of this old world taught him. We
explored past the outer peripheries
of our comfort zones to awaken
the terror in our minds and keep
us on our toes deep in the forest
in the middle of the night. The owls
led our way and the wilderness
transformed into a sanctuary.
The adventures we shared together
will always remain tattooed on
the pages of my skin. They tell a
story that we began together and
which continues being woven to
this very day. It's the same old
story about how we all were in
this together and how each and
every one of us is also going away
someday and though it will be the far-
thest we can manage to tell our own
tale we may rest assured it will be
continued like one of the old pulp
serials by all our friends which survive
us and manage to continue
the saga whispering in the wind.

Shae Sveniker's
A NEW METAPHYSICAL STUDY
REGARDING THE BEHAVIOR
OF PLANT LIFE


Shae is a poet/artist/student and former
resident of the Salt Pit, UT, currently living
in Simi Valley, CA. His short stories are on
Blogger and his poetry is hosted on Livejournal.


Nigel Strange's
PLASTIC CHILDREN


Nigel Strange lives with his wife and
daughter, cats, and tiny dog-like thing
in their home in California where he
occasionally experiments recreationally
with lucidity. PLASTIC CHILDREN
is his first publication.